Posted on October 10, 2011
O.K. so here I go after my son passing one week ago on Fri.
Sept. 23, 2011 I THINK I am ready to take the time to place the end of his
story down in black & white.. I can’t make any promises but here goes..
It's been a while since I last wrote on here. I mean really, there was no real
reason to have to write. However, there is now a whole lot to say to the world!
On Mon. Sept. 19, 2011 I thought that my water had broken as I was riding to
the store I was gone literally for 5 minutes to our destination & back home.
Anyways, when I got up her car seat was wet & there was NO way I sweated
that much in 5 mins time. So, here we go my sister Janaya & I at first
panicked and I called everyone I could think of that could tell me whether it
was time to go or not.. As I did that, my sister calmed and tried her best to
stop me from panicking. I showered, as she packed a bag & we called my mom
& husband & off we went to the hosp. Come to find out they released me
with the explanation that Silas my dear loving son whom seemed to have a sense
of humor decided to sit on my bladder and un-benounced to me I basically peed
on myself!! LOL , Might I say how embarrassed I was! So, with that I went home relieved
as I was only 35 wks & Silas needed to be inside longer to allow his lungs
to grow bigger! I was however told that I was 1cm dilated but not to worry
because women who have had other children usually are always around that so it
was normal. What a relief I must say.. I then went on with my week until Thur
Sept 22, 2011 I had another Dr. appt and so I went. I told them about the hosp
visit on Mon. & then I asked them to check my cervix so they did so I was
3cm & fully thick which "most" women can be like that for weeks
because as long as my cervix was "thick" there was nothing to be worried
about, but to be cautious & watch what I do.. Stay off my feet, accept to
pee & bathe. They attached me to the NST machine & said heartbeat
looked great & no contractions.. So I was to return next week w/the orders
that between now & then I was to get my last set of labs done. I went home
and went to rest because I was tired. Well, needless to say; I never made it to
sleep because a very uncomfortable pain in my lower back & lower abdomen. I
waited till’ my husband got home & mentioned to him that I was VERY
uncomfortable... He asked me to call someone so I called my mother & a
couple other people till’ I realized that it was just getting worse so I went.
Here we go again; I hoped this was a false alarm again.... Well, boys &
girls it wasn’t.. I planned on doing this birth all natural with just local anesthetics
for an epidural if I needed one. The same way I did both of my girls.. I also
needed to get this birth on film just in case because this may be the first
& last time to see my son alive & as much as I prayed & hoped that
he would pull through as I am my sons biggest advocate as you all know. So last
minute by the grace of God I had 3 photographers numbers in my phone & 1 I
reached & came through for me... Thank you Alison of Alison Waring Photography
you are forever in my heart for what you have done for us.. So the rest of the
story is best read on her blog, from an outsiders view looking in. Maybe in a
couple days I will be strong enough to update again with the story after she
left, but right now, I'm still struggling the loss of our Silas. I can’t in my
mind rehash right now the moments after where he took his last breath in my
arms & the day after where I couldn’t let go of my son’s body & held
him as close as I could.. I want to thank all of you that have sent your
condolences, donations, gifts, cards, ect..
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