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Just Another Day..

So, I've been trying to figure out a way to make money to help out with the bills that seem to be piling up. So, I'm pretty sure I found out a real honest chance to make money from home, but I'm still tryin git out. There is one thing that I needed to do when I started to set up this at home biz & that was have either PayPal account to accept payment from the company, or to have a AlertPay account & since I have had bad experiences with PayPal I decided to try out this AlertPay. I'm VERY happy with this decision & I can make money through them too. I have decided to get serious about learning how to extreme coupon to a degree though not so much to fill a garage because I have no garage or I probably would. All I can say with me having to take time off due to Silas' diagnosis since 20 weeks, that company closed before Silas was born, so I am out of work & hunting. My husband well he has been laid off again!! So, with us struggling to figure out how to keep our belly's full, lights on, & roof over our heads I know how hard it is to pick up the pieces emotionally & financially too. So I have a great idea that I am going to begin with this new learned talent. I have to find someone that is so good at this that they can ensure I have the knowledge to be successful. So, if you know a couponer in the Orlando, FL area please send them my way. I want to make a organization that accepts & creates a stockpile/ bank of items that a family would need while they are either picking up the pieces after the loss of a CDH baby! Hopefully to expand to other angels of other illnesses, the bigger our stock pile the more families I can help. Hope to expand to other states by having others join & train local people how to successfully coupon in order to donate extra products to their local chapter of this organization.. So, with that I'm doing my research & watching the NILMDTS video & Alison Waring Photography video too.. So here is:

To Catch You Up On My Story...

Posted on Friday, July 29, 2011

My name is Silas & I am unborn still growing in my mommy's tummy... If I can be patient I will join them on October 18, 2011. My mommy & daddy got married on December 17, 2010 & then conceived me on mommy's birthday (February 1). On March 15, 2011 they found out they would be expecting me!! They were so happy & then at 20 weeks gestation the doctor's not only told mommy the good news that daddy got what he wanted me, a boy but also that I am very sick!! I could feel my mommy's pain as my home shook with a rumble I will never want to know again; mommy's pain (she was hysterically crying & hyperventilating). She was devastated. The doctors told mommy that I had been diagnosed with CDH (Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia) & other birth defects as well. They told her that I wasn't going to survive but my mommy fought for me to get to term so I am bound & determined to meet my mommy, daddy & 2 big sisters who anxiously wait for my arrival. They're fighting for me & I'm fighting for them, but when & if Jehovah calls me to be with him I have to go... I hope that He will let me get to know my family & enjoy all the fun things that mommy talks to me about everyday... She says that grandma can't wait to spoil me & show me how to ride horses. That way I can ride with my big sisters... 

For The Holidays

What will many of you do for the holidays? My family and I don't celebrate the holidays so my holidays wont be as hard as most parents of angels. Now that things have settled down now I feel like all the journaling and blogging I did during my journey with Silas and this battle with CDH is all over the place with no real organization. So, that is what I am doing now. Im not sure how I feel about this blogger site as it still isnt neat & streamlined as I have a slight case of OCD, but maybe I just have to take the time to learn more about this blogging site and clean it up later... So here is the new blog which I will continue to write in every so often. Please feel free to comment, follow, share, tweet, ect. Spread the word because the more people that know about our Cherubs the closer we are to answers.. May God bless each and everyone of you that come to visit my page..

Silas' Birth- Sept. 23, 2011

Posted on October 10, 2011

O.K. so here I go after my son passing one week ago on Fri. Sept. 23, 2011 I THINK I am ready to take the time to place the end of his story down in black & white.. I can’t make any promises but here goes.. It's been a while since I last wrote on here. I mean really, there was no real reason to have to write. However, there is now a whole lot to say to the world! On Mon. Sept. 19, 2011 I thought that my water had broken as I was riding to the store I was gone literally for 5 minutes to our destination & back home. Anyways, when I got up her car seat was wet & there was NO way I sweated that much in 5 mins time. So, here we go my sister Janaya & I at first panicked and I called everyone I could think of that could tell me whether it was time to go or not.. As I did that, my sister calmed and tried her best to stop me from panicking. I showered, as she packed a bag & we called my mom & husband & off we went to the hosp. Come to find out they released me with the explanation that Silas my dear loving son whom seemed to have a sense of humor decided to sit on my bladder and un-benounced to me I basically peed on myself!! LOL , Might I say how embarrassed I was! So, with that I went home relieved as I was only 35 wks & Silas needed to be inside longer to allow his lungs to grow bigger! I was however told that I was 1cm dilated but not to worry because women who have had other children usually are always around that so it was normal. What a relief I must say.. I then went on with my week until Thur Sept 22, 2011 I had another Dr. appt and so I went. I told them about the hosp visit on Mon. & then I asked them to check my cervix so they did so I was 3cm & fully thick which "most" women can be like that for weeks because as long as my cervix was "thick" there was nothing to be worried about, but to be cautious & watch what I do.. Stay off my feet, accept to pee & bathe. They attached me to the NST machine & said heartbeat looked great & no contractions.. So I was to return next week w/the orders that between now & then I was to get my last set of labs done. I went home and went to rest because I was tired. Well, needless to say; I never made it to sleep because a very uncomfortable pain in my lower back & lower abdomen. I waited till’ my husband got home & mentioned to him that I was VERY uncomfortable... He asked me to call someone so I called my mother & a couple other people till’ I realized that it was just getting worse so I went. Here we go again; I hoped this was a false alarm again.... Well, boys & girls it wasn’t.. I planned on doing this birth all natural with just local anesthetics for an epidural if I needed one. The same way I did both of my girls.. I also needed to get this birth on film just in case because this may be the first & last time to see my son alive & as much as I prayed & hoped that he would pull through as I am my sons biggest advocate as you all know. So last minute by the grace of God I had 3 photographers numbers in my phone & 1 I reached & came through for me... Thank you Alison of Alison Waring Photography you are forever in my heart for what you have done for us.. So the rest of the story is best read on her blog, from an outsiders view looking in. Maybe in a couple days I will be strong enough to update again with the story after she left, but right now, I'm still struggling the loss of our Silas. I can’t in my mind rehash right now the moments after where he took his last breath in my arms & the day after where I couldn’t let go of my son’s body & held him as close as I could.. I want to thank all of you that have sent your condolences, donations, gifts, cards, ect..

Please see the story of Silas' birth at Alison Waring Photography

D-day Is Almost Here!

Posted on Friday, September 9, 2011
So lets see the last time we updated this blog I wasn’t really very happy. I actually had to battle a bit of depression & frustration.  I cant explain to anyone how it feels to think that the vibe you are getting back from the doctors was that they didn’t care & that your child is just a paycheck to them. Since then I have met with Dr. Miller (Children’s Surgical Associates) and for the first time I had someone tell us that they are going to do everything they can to save Silas. He told me that yes, there is a lot of problems but take your time & tackling them one at a time will get Silas through this, but ultimately its up to Silas to pull through. I’ve carried my son for the past 8 months and there is one thing that I’m sure of and that is that Silas is definitely a fighter!!
Since my last time posting an update I have heard from Dr. Kay’s office (which I turned down). I have met with Dr. Miller http://csapediatricsurgery.com/ , NICU social worker(Autumn), high risk social worker (Andrea), Neonatologist (Brian Lipman) & genetic counselor (Dan Ricconda) &  Im happy with the team and I feel that Silas has a chance! For the first time since we were diagnosed at wk 20 someone finally looked me dead in the face & said “My team & I will do everything we can to give your son a chance at life!”  So as of now its just a waiting game for now. I have to go to OB every week now & next visit I get the final work up on my blood, pap, & sonogram to see how much Silas weighs. about 3 wks ago Silas was measuring the length of a 29 wk term baby (this is when I was 31 wks). Although my genetic counselor said that he is leaning toward Silas also being diagnosed with Fanconi Anemia or Fryns syndrome when I spoke to Dr. Miller about the fact that Silas may have a ssyndrome as well as CDH & the firt thing out of his mouth was VATERS AKA VACTERAL association!! Im weighing in at 142lbs right now.  So, for now Im just trying to mentally prepare for the day he arrives, because although Im happy & excited Im PETRIFIED of this day!
Next appt is next week Sept. 15 at the crack of dawn and so until then I just want to let you know that we are holding a fundraising event for Silas on Sept 18. you find it in your hearts to donate $18. He will be induced on Oct 18, so the money raised will give us a great head start on his future.. If you can not afford $18 please send this link and info to 18 people you know.. thank you & God Bless to you all! PLEASE DONATE.

A Word From A Mother's Heart

Posted on Wednesday, August 17, 2011 

I’M NOT SURE WHERE TO START… WELL, SOME OF YOU KNOW THAT ELI & I HAVE NOT ONLY FOUND OUT THAT WE ARE EXPECTING IN OCT, BUT THAT AT 20 WKS OUR UNBORN SON WAS DIAGNOSED WITH A CONDITION CALLED CONGENITAL DIAPHRAGMATIC HERNIA OR CDH. THERE IS NO KNOWN CAUSE & NO KNOWN CURE. 50% OF BABIES WITH THIS CONDITION ALONE WILL SURVIVE. THIS CONDITION IS WHERE THE DIAPHRAGM DOESN’T COMPLETELY FINISH GROWING AND A HOLE IS LEFT ALLOWING ALL THE ORGANS IN OUR LOWER ABDOMEN TO GO THROUGH THE HOLE INTO THE CHEST COMPRESSING THE LUNGS & HEART. BECAUSE OF THIS THE GROWTH OF THE LUNGS IS NOT ALLOWED BECAUSE THE SPLEEN, INTESTINES, AND LIVER ARE WHERE THE LUNGS SHOULD BE AND THIS IN SOME CASES PUSHES THE HEART OVER.

OUR SON SILAS HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH LEFT SIDED CDH. HE HAS BARELY ANY LUNG GROWTH, & HIS HEART IS SHOVED UP AGAINST THE RIGHT CHEST CAVITY WALL. UNFORTUNATELY I WISH I COULD TELL YOU THAT THIS IS ALL SILAS HAS WRONG WITH HIM HOWEVER THE DR’S HAVE FOUND THAT THERE ARE MULTIPLE OTHER ANOMALIES REDUCING HIS SURVIVAL CHANCES. THEY FEEL THAT HE MAY POSSIBLY HAVE A SYNDROME OF SOME SORT BUT CANT REALLY DIAGNOSE THIS BECAUSE I HAVE ALMOST NO AMNIOTIC FLUID IN WITH SILAS. SO THE TESTS THAT THEY NORMALLY RUN CANT BE BECAUSE THE FLUID ACTS AS A CONDUCTOR FOR THE TESTS WITH OUT IT THE QUALITY OF THE TESTS AREN’T WORTH THE TIME & MONEY BECAUSE YOU CANT SEE ANYTHING..

LET ME TELL YOU NEVER DID I THINK THAT THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME, BUT IT DID & NOT BECAUSE OF ANYTHING I DID OR DIDN’T DO & ALL OF THE CHROMOSOME TESTS HAVE COME BACK COMPLETELY NORMAL! AS A PARENT AND ESPECIALLY AS A MOTHER THIS IS BY FAR THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH.. THE MOTHERLY INSTINCT IN ME WANTS TO SAVE MY SON, GET ANSWERS, AND JUST PLAIN FIX HIS BOO-BOOS… BUT, I CANT! I RESEARCH, I HELP RAISE AWARENESS FOR CDH HOPING TO GET ANSWERS FOR MYSELF, AND REQUEST TEST AFTER TEST & MEET WITH ANYONE IN THE MEDICAL FIELD THAT WILL TALK TO ME, BUT I’M AT ONE OF THE BEST CHILDREN’S HOSPITALS IN THE COUNTRY AND THEY ONLY HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF ANSWERS. ON A GOOD NOTE: THEY ARE HOPEFUL HE HASN’T MISCARRIED YET (WE ARE AT WK 30) & THE TESTS ON HIS HEART SHOW THAT ALTHOUGH IT IS ON THE RIGHT SIDE IT APPEARS TO FUNCTION NORMALLY & STRONG!!

I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW ALL THIS TAKES A TOLL ON THE WHOLE FAMILY, AND HOW MANY FRIENDS & FAMILY MEMBERS I HAVE LOST! WE WERE WARNED BY OTHERS THAT HAVE DEALT WITH CDH, BUT YOU CAN NEVER MENTALLY PREPARE FOR WHEN YOU REACH OUT TO TALK TO SOMEONE AND THEY AVOID YOU BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.. YOU FEEL SAD, LOST, ALONE & LIKE IT’LL NEVER COME TO A HEAD AND BE FIXED.. THIS WILL EVEN TEST THOSE WITH THE STRONGEST FAITH, AS THERE HAVE BEEN DAYS I CRY AND BEG JEHOVAH TO EXPLAIN WHY & FIX SILAS. I LEAN HEAVILY ON MY FAITH, BUT IT HAS DEFINITELY BEEN TESTED! SO I DO WHAT I CAN TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PURPOSE FOR MY CHILD AND FOR ME THAT IS RAISE AWARENESS & MONETARY FUNDS TO HELP ENSURE SILAS RECOVERY.. AND IF GOD FORBID JEHOVAH CALLS SILAS HOME TO HIM WE CAN GIVE HIM THE SEND OFF HE DESERVES! IF THAT WAS TO HAPPEN ANY MONEY RAISED THAT IS LEFT OVER AFTER HIS PASSING WILL BE DONATED TO  CHERUBS TO HELP OTHER FAMILIES…

HERE IS WHAT THE DOCTORS KNOW SO FAR ABOUT SILAS:

1. DEXTROCARDIA (HEART ON RIGHT SIDE OF CHEST)
2. LEFT DIAPHRAGMATIC HERNIA. THE LEFT LOBE OF THE LIVER EXTENDS INTO THE LEFT UPPER CHEST.
3. SOLITARY MULTICYSTIC DYSPLASTIC LEFT KIDNEY. DILATED DISTAL LEFT URETER. ABSENT RIGHT KIDNEY. (LEFT KIDNEY IS FIBROUS CYSTS RENDERING IF BARLEY FUNCTIONAL)
4. SMALL CEREBELLUM (2 WK GROWTH DELAY- CONTROLS MOTOR SKILLS)
5. STOMACH NOT SEEN (EITHER NO STOMACH OR ESPHOGIAL ATRESIA)
6. 2-VESSEL UMBILICAL CORD (NORMALLY THERE ARE 3 – 2 ARTERIES & 1 VEINS

7. SEVERE OLIOHYDRAMNIOS (ALMOST NO AMNIOTIC FLUID)
8. BILATERAL CLUBBED FEET
9. BILATERAL RADIAL RAY (NO RADIUS BONES IN FOREARMS).
10. DEVIATED ANUS (NO HOLE FOR BOWEL MOVEMENT)

SO THE REASON FOR THIS EMAIL IS TO HELP US GET THE BALL ROLLING ON A GREAT START TO HIS RECOVERY BEFORE HE ARRIVES:

DONATE , GIVE OUR SON THE GIFT OF LIFE! FEEL FREE TO SHARE TO HELP REACH OUR GOAL!

THANK YOU & GOD BLESS EACH & EVERYONE OF YOU!